Insecurity, Frustration, Weight, and What Happens after Highschool
I'll try to keep this short and sweet but I think we all know how much I like to ramble. I read this blog post awhile back about being "that girl" that everyone looks up on social media one day and realizes that after highschool she became "fat". I read it and immediately realized that I wasn't alone in that thinking.
The freshman fifteen that I fought against became my (technically even though I didn't go to college, only cosmetology school) sophmore ten.
It's not just the added weight and the fact that I had to throw out half of my shorts and tanks because nothing fit. It's the feeling of not being able to wear what I want anymore and giving up a few of my favorite pieces that I know I won't be able to fit back into. I'm okay with a little extra weight but when I can tell the difference (what feels like a DRASTIC difference, at least noticeably) between pictures from last spring and pictures now, I begin to get frustrated and lose hope that I'll ever be my fit weight again.
It's not that I don't workout; it's not even that I give up fast food during the week. It's the fact that I'm not running nearly as much, and as the weight gained on me little by little, I barely noticed until half my pants didn't fit anymore. I started working out again but nothing I do seems to get the weight off. The point of this post isn't so much a pity party or compliment fishing from you nice readers that feel bad and insist that I'm not "fat". Maybe you are thinking it but want me to feel better and tell me a lie anyway. I'm not fat. I know that. But I am not pleased with the fat that is there, and I aim to get it off.
People can be unhappy with a certain unhealthy lifestyle choice but you can't scold them into feeling bad for feeling bad about themselves.
The best support someone can give is to pray for that person and offer to help working out or encouraging them in their journey. To get up close and personal-I was always better at writing my thoughts out instead of saying them aloud-I'm insecure about my weight and I'm not alone. I'm frustrated with how little progress I have with it, and if I'm like any other girl ever, I take a certain pride in my appearance and the certain category I fall into.
Firstly, this isn't Christian for me to be disatisfied and drag myself down to being irritable to those around me when I can't seem to help myself.
Secondly, it isn't Christian of me not to trust that God has a plan for this or to leave it up to Him if He's teaching me a lesson through it.
Thirdly, I heard this through another great blog Ransomed and Redeemed on her latest post "Good Enough" and it taught me one thing. I can only ask for God's help and try my very best to be the best Christian I can be every day and just start anew every morning. Fourthly, and lastly, I can't help my frustration and insecurity every day by feeding them more than I feed my gratefulness and thankfulness.
Like Marley put in her post on her blog, you are good enough by God's grace. You don't have to identify with the "girl that got fat after highschool" or the insecurity, depression, and frustration of not being able to make much progress on your goals. Your time will come by God's will.
Trust in His timing.