I'm Not Normal.
I can go on and on about the whole insecurity issue, but when I hear stories about middle schoolers going to church camp and telling their camp counselor that they cut themselves, struggle with anorexia, hate themselves for eating to much, and struggle with depression, we as a society-we as CHRISTIANS-need to step forward and set the example. I'm tired of letting the stares of judging people drag me down and wondering with a sinking pit in my stomach what I did to deserve some lazy bunch of women gossiping about my hair or clothes or makeup. I don't remember when my "I don't give a crap what you think" attitude started to falter. I've always marched to the beat of my own drum and while that can be a problem most times, I need to regain that back with my confidence in what I'm perceived as.
No, I'm not normal. I get the weird stares when I wear strangely colored wigs. I'm creative. I'm artistic. I'm tired of being boring and I HAVE to have an outlet for this kind of thing. I paint, draw, write, do makeup, paint hair, and repeat. I buy wigs since I don't want to damage my hair with repeated hair coloring that I get bored of.
I post pictures because I love to. I love taking pictures and I love showing off what I made. When I glorify God in whatever I do, I get to show off my Creator because He made me this way and I wouldn't have these gifts or anything without Him. Maybe my testimony is getting to reach people this way. I talk a TON and I have a knack for things I do with my hands. I have a drive to do what I do and some slacker who hardly ever works and then begins to badmouth me for having a good job-starts badmouthing me for something she DOESN'T have- and begins to try to poison other people against me, only proves that I'm doing something right if she wants what I have.
I'm successful and if I'm weird, well honey, this isn't news to me. I've always been this way and I will continue to be this way. If nothing else, I will continue to do what is enjoyable for me and teaches me things and makes me grow as a Christian-as a hairstylist-as a woman that God calls me to be. Nothing you say or think will change that. Sticks and stones...well, you get the general idea.
I am no stranger to being the outsider-from day one I was one. I have learned to accept that. I'm not alone-I have God and He is not poor company. I would take Him over anything-anyone for that matter, and someone's weak little approval of me will not change my mind. If you put your trust in man, he will disappoint. I choose not the things of this world, but MY God. He is always with me and will never forsake me. My security will not come from some woman's (OR MAN'S) ill opinion of me. I'll get over it, trust me.
Now I'm saying this not to make a jab at people who delight in making others feel small-there will always be those who aren't content with what they have and decide that tearing down someone else will somehow make them feel better. I'm not saying this will never hurt my feelings but what kind of person am I to let some silly words dictate how I live my life? What are they proving by talking trash about me? Nothing, I can assure you.
As long as I please God, my life is on track. I will continue to live for Him and ignore what the devil tries to do to tear me down. I should take it as a compliment when someone dislikes me for no reason; the Bible talks about those who hate Christ and hate the very essence of His light through others. I must be doing something right. They must see Him in me. God doesn't promise us a "normal" life. He promises that we won't go through it alone. A pastor I knew once said during his sermon that the trials of a Christian does not end when he becomes a Christian-really, it becomes worse.
So why become a Christian?
Because we won't go through it alone and we surely will not have a boring, normal life.