I'm Not Good Enough For You

 
 
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...?

I know you've been there and I know you've asked yourself this question. I recently lost five pounds and it's pretty noticeable since I'm filling out my clothes differently. That being said, I didn't workout and not eat junk food just for other people's opinions because if I did that I'd never be happy and nobody around me would be either. I lost five pounds because I wasn't comfortable in all the clothes I buy and I wanted to fit into them again. 

I don't know if the comment was targeting my weight directly but when someone made multiple comments on what I was eating after treating myself to a big lunch, it ticked me off. Not because it made me feel badly about my weight, but because it was none of their business even if they felt like commenting on someone else's choices.

As long as I'm healthy, I'm not quite sure what business anybody has telling me what to eat. I wade through comments like this everyday with someone tearing me down despite me smiling at them through my anger and asking them genuinely how their day was. I can be in the best mood or the worst, and hear complaining regardless of what I do. I grew up as being the loud one and got told to quiet down.

Then when I talk a little more quietly, I get exasperated people telling me to quit 'mumbling'. I ramble and talk too much so I do everyone a favor and stay quiet. I've had adults tell me that I'm being disrespectful by staying quiet and not talking all the time or acting overjoyed at everything.

You know the RBF? I've been the queen of that face since I was five. I have a serious face and I get comments all the time on why I'm mad when I'm not at all.

You can't please everyone and more than likely, you won't please anyone at times. If I did everything in my life to please somebody else, I would never be happy.

People's moods change depending on the weather, their relationships with others, and/or financial issues. Why would I feel the need to please them and twist and turn my life upside down just to please someone else and their opinion? They are probably wrong anyway. People can never be satisfied. You'll always fall short of what they want. 

My actions and choices are going to reflect my relationship with Christ.

My workout routine and my priorities and eating habits will follow suit. I know I'm not good enough. That's what makes it so special that we serve a God who died for us and made us His special creation. We are special in His eyes. By becoming a Christian, we are made good enough to the one who created everything. How cool is that?

We can feel discouraged; we can feel abused by others; but when we serve a God who cares for us when nobody else does and loves us regardless, wouldn't you want to be a part of that versus feeling like trash everyday because someone thinks my thighs are too fat? I'm not good enough for you. But I'm good enough for the Lord to care for me as His own.

I'm good enough. 

Just not for you. 

Xoxo, Char

Picture by @ldsworld_ find him on Instagram!